


Better Off

by winterstrvnge



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Marvel Endgame
Genre: Breakup Fic, I wanted Bucky to tell Steve he was better off after he left him in endgame, M/M, Past Stucky, modern endgame ending ig???
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-21
Updated: 2019-08-21
Packaged: 2020-09-23 05:37:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20334955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winterstrvnge/pseuds/winterstrvnge
Summary: I guess this is my domestic version of Steve leaving Bucky at the end of endgame and Bucky moving onI just wanted bucky to tell steve off lol





	Better Off

Bucky left years ago, so long ago the bed no longer remembered his shape when he slept, the couch pillows didn’t smell like shampoo and booze, and the air in the apartment wasn’t as warm anymore. Bucky had been with Steve for most of his life, the latter half of their relationship was romantic. Bucky trusted Steve with his heart, Steve never raised any red flags for Bucky. One night in Steve’s apartment he tested the waters, wanting to see Steve’s reaction to maybe being something more than friends.

Bucky buzzed in at Steve’s apartment, taking on the same flights of stairs he frequented so many times before. This time his heart was racing much faster than usual, today was the day he’d finally tell Steve. The walls of the apartment complex were stained with years of cigarette smoke and conversation. Oh, the secrets the walls could tell if they could speak, all the love, friendship, and heartbreak. Bucky was in a mood to give the walls another love story. He walked past familiar doors that had faded golden numbers detailing the address for each inhabiter, eventually, he halted outside Steve’s door. He took a deep breath and before he could knock, as usual, Steve opened the door. 

“Hey Buck, I heard you coming down the hallway, come on in,” Steve smiled his usual smile, he always did have this overly chipper attitude. Steve’s face sank a little when he saw Bucky just standing there, staring at him. “Bucky, are you okay? What happened?” Steve put his hand out grabbing for Bucky’s shoulder. The feel of Steve’s well-meaning grip on his shoulder was enough to squeeze the tears out of him, crumbling in the doorway of the apartment. 

“S-steve,” Bucky’s voice cracked, muffling his sob by covering his mouth. Steve dropped down and moved the hair out of Bucky’s face, pushing it behind his ear. 

“Buck, buddy don’t cry c’ mon Buck whatever it is it’ll be okay, let’s go inside okay sh it’s okay” Steve cooed softy, prying Bucky’s hands away from his mouth and helping Bucky off the ground. Steve led Bucky into his apartment and guided him to the red love seat that was positioned in front of a large window overlooking a dimly lit alleyway. Bucky eased down on the couch without lifting his head once, too ashamed of his sudden release of pent up emotion to face Steve. 

Steve’s hand landed on Bucky’s, his thumb slowly rubbing a spot on the back of his hand back and forth,” Buck wha-,” and before Steve could finish Bucky lunged forward, connecting his lips with Steve’s. Bucky kissed hard as though too somehow adhere to Steve for all eternity, so he wouldn’t have to hear his rejection. Steve pulled away from the kiss slowly to not startle Bucky, his fingers raised to touch his lips to make sure what just happened, actually happened. 

Bucky spoke first,” I love you, Steve, since forever, and it’s painful to love someone so much without them knowing. All my love has been aching to pour out on you; to shower you with every bit of affection possible.” He pulled Steve’s hand away from his mouth and replaced it with his mouth. This time Steve kissed back just as hard, if not harder than Bucky did at first. Steve’s hands traveled to Bucky’s shoulders, easing them down into the couch. Steve got on top of Bucky pinning him to keep in in place while the kiss deepened. Bucky’s heart was pounding hard all this time and now so was Steve’s. When the kiss finally broke the two stared at each other in awe. 

“I never thought about us in this way before, but god it feels so fucking good,” Steve laughed, still straddling the lovesick man. Bucky was now staring lovingly at Steve, everything about him was radiant sunshine. His golden locks the were woven by the rays of the early morning sun, the blue eyes which were droplets of a clear sky and his smile which mirrored that of pure joy. Seeing his now pink cheeks, full of fresh arousal and interest had Bucky’s mind in a whirl. Never did he imagine he would finally be loved back. 

That was the seed of their relationship, the moment the two started enjoying each others company with the bonuses of kisses and cuddles well into the early day and late night. 

The morning after they made love for the first of many times was eerily like a fantasy or a wild rumor running rampant amongst chattering teens. They laid in Steve’s bed, naked draped in only each other's limbs and a thin sheet. The light bouncing around from the horizon pierced through Bucky’s eyelids and awoke him to a wondrous sight. Steve was snoring softly with his lips slightly agape as his warm breathe escaped periodically with an occasional facial twitch; a consequence from the dream he was experiencing. The sun danced on Steve’s skin highlighting his toned arms, svelt neck, and his tender face. The sheet that draped over the two covered the unsightly parts while exposing every other limb of Steve’s. Of course, this was by accident as Bucky was a blanket hog but, it worked out in his favor. When the sun began to rise a little more, Steve’s eyes fluttered open as he adjusted to the light and the sight of a sleepy Bucky. In Steve’s eyes, Bucky was a work of renaissance art. Bucky’s silver eyes could make you shiver with their seriousness, but make you feel as though you were drifting off at sea. His mouth was foul at times but the soft baby pink hue of them accompanied with their ability to make you conform to their dance when you kissed them made him irresistible. The part that Steve admired most was Bucky’s comforting touch; the skin on his hands was calloused but when he strokes your body in the heat of a passionate moment it only adds to the friction. 

“Mm ‘morning Buck,” Steve groaned, snuggling into Bucky’s side closer. Under the sheet, Bucky could feel Steve’s warm skin next to his, inducing pure euphoria. The two sleepy men faced one another, foreheads touching and their breathe blowing in each other face. Steve pushed back Bucky’s hair back behind his ear and tilted his head forward to kiss his forehead. “The after-sex glow is doing wonders for you,” Steve giggled, looking back into Bucky’s eyes. Steve rested his hand on Bucky’s covered hip while he pushed his naked body into Bucky’s. The feeling of their skin touching wasn’t enough for either of them. It was impossible to feel like they were close to one another unless somehow they could get their souls to touch. Bucky snaked his hand under the sheet and planted it on Steve’s chest.

“Your heart is pounding,” Bucky spoke softly.

“Because it’s excited that you’re touching it,” Steve laughed, placed the hand that was on Bucky’s hip now on top of the hand on his chest. He grabbed the hand and lifted it to his mouth, giving it a light kiss. Bucky knew at that moment that Steve was the love of his life, the first man to treat him with kindness. This peaceful bliss lasted two years, Bucky spent every night in Steve’s bed and every morning in Steve’s kitchen. They talked about moving in with one another; starting a life they never had. The idea of marriage was played around with for a while, with Steve calling Bucky “Mr. Bucky Rogers” and Bucky calling Steve “Mr. Steve Barnes”. 

Overtime Steve distanced himself becoming less and less touchy with Bucky. Arguments ensued and were occurring more and more until the night Bucky left. 

Bucky was rummaging through Steve’s dressers looking for his favorite white sweater that Steve ‘borrowed” back in college while scavenging unused dresser drawers he found a bralette. Bucky held it up and laughed, thinking it was something new to spice up their now fleeting sex life.

“Steve, baby, can you come here a sec?” Bucky called to Steve who was sitting on the very red love seat that started it all, watching true crime tv shows. 

“Yeah what’s up Buck?” Steve’s face drained when he saw the bralette on the bed as he leaned in the doorway.

“Ya know this is a little out of my comfort zone but if you wanna try it-,” Bucky still rummaging through the drawer, stopped when he landed on a pair of underwear and picture. 

“Buck…” Steve started, approaching Bucky slowly.

“Steve, what is this?” Bucky whimpered, not even looking up, still examining the picture. It was of a brunette woman and Steve kissing, tears started dropping on the photo as Bucky realized that it might be recent. “This was the suit you took with you on your ‘business trip’,” Tears now coming down in a steady flow.

“Bucky I’m so sorry, I…” Steve tried to wrap an arm around Bucky but he jolted back. 

“What IS this Steve please tell me this some sick fucking joke,” Bucky rubbed his thumb over the face of the girl, slowly recalling who she was. “She was the girlfriend you were seeing before me, Peggy right?”

Steve’s whole demeanor change, becoming cold and rigid,” You had to have known Bucky, this has been over for a long time now,” The words were full of ice, that made Bucky shake with sadness. Bucky looked up at Steve and took in a deep breathe. He rose to his feet and walked past Steve without saying another word. After years of being friends and more recently lovers the switch that Steve had made frightened Bucky to his absolute core. He grabbed a jacket off the coat rack and the keys to his motorcycle and left without another word. 

Steve tried to call out to him but didn’t go out to stop him. 

Bucky got on his bike with tears that burned running down his pink cheeks. He never thought that Steve would just leave him for a woman and never say a word about it. Didn’t he mean anything to Steve? Didn’t years of love both platonic and romantic mean anything to him? Were all his words empty? Were they practice so when he was actually with that woman he could say it confidently? Bucky didn’t know and Bucky didn’t want to know. He revved up the engine and rode for hours until he reached D.C.

That was the end of Steve and Bucky, 10 years had passed until Bucky even thought of Steve. Bucky had moved on and found someone who loved him for who he was, it took a long time before Bucky finally relaxed into his current relationship. He met this new man named Sam who was drunk enough to listen to Bucky’s whole life story in one sitting at a bar that Bucky stopped into to get directions. The two hit it off and connected over their mutual fear of commitment, two wandering souls that needed an ear to talk off. In those 10 years, Sam and Bucky had gotten married and moved into a condo in the D.C. area near Sam’s job, which led to many enjoyable nights of talking and laughing especially. Some nights of touching or of long-distance loving, other nights were therapy sessions and some were times of weird experimentation like when Bucky thought he should dye his hair bright green. The freedom Bucky felt was invigorating and new. One morning, Sam was enjoying a coffee and some toast at the kitchen table when Bucky grabbed his keys and kissed Sam’s cheek goodbye.

“Where do you think you’re going? This is my first day off in two weeks Bucky!” Bucky laughed and grabbed a piece of toast off Sam’s plate.

“I’m gonna visit an old friend, I’ll be back by nighttime, love you!” Sam rolled his eyes as the door slammed.

It was exactly 10 years after Bucky walked out, he felt like his life was finally in order after all this time. There was one loose strand left to cut. The 4-hour ride up to New York was scenic and full of luscious greenery, so full of life until he entered the grey city. The last thing Bucky heard about Steve was he still lived in the same apartment with a few new occupants. Bucky’s heart was pounding like the first time he came to confess his feelings to Steve. The mailman held the door open for Bucky so he didn’t have to buzz in to get to Steve’s place. The same flight of stairs looked as menacing as ever, you would have thought that they would’ve installed an elevator by now. The faded numbers on the door were replaced and the stained walls were about to see the end of another love story. Bucky stood in front of the door as his heart dance around his chest, banging on his ribs like it was trying to escape the potentially awkward situation to come. 

Bucky lifted his hand and knocked three times, and stood until he heard heavy steps approach the door. When the door opened he met face to face with the very man who ripped out his heart and put it on a silver platter. 

“Bucky…,” He said, his once sweet voice was slightly jagged with what sounded like unearthed pain. Something that was buried deep down for 10 years. 

“Hey Steve, it’s been a while,” Bucky laughed, rubbing his neck to help alleviate some of the anxiety.

“Steve who’s at the door,” A woman called out.

“Uh an old friend we’ll just talk out here for a little,” Steve responded, closing the door behind him. The voice resurfaced some of the heartaches from 10 years ago but, Bucky knew this was his time to speak.

“Steve I just came here to thank you,” Bucky started, “You showed me the things I needed and the things I deserved. I found someone who would treat me how I deserved to be treated. You made your decision and I made mine. This is goodbye, forever.” Bucky put out his hand, and Steve looked down and went in for a hug. 

“I’m sorry I did this to you, Buck, I wish you nothing but the best.” Bucky hugged back, feeling a weight being lifted afters years of love then betrayal. The two stepped back and smiled one last time at each other before Bucky made his way back out of the apartment not looking back once. When he heard the door close he began to feel light and free, like when he first found Sam.

Bucky found his peace

without Steve.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey hey hey!
> 
> This fic idea has been in my brain since endgame ended 
> 
> Hope you all enjoy :)


End file.
